There’s a common misconception about aggression in dogs. Many, many dogs exhibit behaviors that are incorrectly labeled as aggressive.

Most dog trainers consider an aggressive dog to be one who intends to do harm to another dog. This is actually very rare.

Much of the behavior that looks like aggression is actually serving the opposite purpose - the dog is trying to avoid conflict. How does this make sense? Let’s consider how dogs communicate.

Dogs communicate through body language. A dog who feels uncomfortable will send signals to the other dog that tell them to back off. This might look like a stiff body and tail or calming signals like looking away or licking their lips. These signals say “stay away” and they’re the way an insecure dog can set boundaries with other dogs to maintain their comfort level. Some dogs simply don’t like other dogs and don’t want to interact - and that’s okay! By sending these signals they’re communicating their boundaries appropriately.

When the other dog ignores these signals (whether it’s because they’re pushy, rude, or just don’t understand), the first dog will escalate. They might lift a lip, growl, or stare. This is a much clearer signal to the intruding dog to back off. When these signals are ignored, it may escalate further to air snapping, barking, lunging, or other pseudo-fighting. Although these interactions can seem scary, the first dog is still usually actively trying to avoid conflict by telling the other dog in no uncertain terms to stay away. It’s up to the intruding dog to respect this. True dog fights are usually much quieter than these displays!

If you’re nervous about the way your dog interacts with other dogs, try to put yourself in their position - how would you feel if a stranger came up to you and came in for a hug, ignoring all the signs of your discomfort? Dogs don’t need to be friends with every dog they meet! It’s natural for them to find some other dogs annoying, or rude, or just not a good match for them.

Most of what I see referred to as aggression is actually reactivity. Dogs who are reactive to other dogs (typically when leashed or behind a barrier) are usually scared or nervous, and bark/growl/lunge to make sure the other dog does not try to approach. Alternatively, some reactive dogs feel overly excited when they see another dog and, without the skills to regulate their emotions, that excitement comes out in inappropriate ways.

By helping our dogs learn to feel safe in these challenging situations, and around different dogs, we can help to resolve a lot of this reactivity. However, it’s still normal for dogs to use body language to ask other dogs for space.